Who is responsible for the single old folk?

 I have a situation with an elderly cousin, or rather elderly widow of a cousin of mine. We are coping more less OK; but this situation is I suspect not uncommon and is part of what I feel is a major situation - care of the old and vulnerable and who is responsible for single old folk?

My cousin, we will call her "Mary", is a childless widow in her mid-nineties. She has no family members physically closer than a two hour plus drive away. Who would have been her closest relative, her sister,  has died as has one of her sister's two children. The other child is in his early eighties, suffers with Parkinson's, and is a four hour drive away! So in terms of blood relatives who could help we are down to great nieces and great nephews who are working, have their own families and are at least two hours away.

Her nephew and niece on her husband's side are in their sixties, do not have good health and are a four hour drive away. So we are left with folk like me, her husband's cousin and we are a two hour plus drive away so we cannot just "pop over". She has LPAs in place for Finance and Health & Welfare. (I am one of the two attorneys)It is easy enough to keep her finances in order using online banking and fortunately money is not an issue. But Health & Welfare LPAs do not kick in until the person has lost the capacity to make decisions and although she is in the early stages of dementia she does not cross the loss of decision making capacity threshold.

She has carers and they are very good but I cannot help feeling that her quality of life could be so much better if there was someone who could gently persuade her into doing things. Neighbours help with shopping and do the odd "handyman" job and there is a local tradesman who is trustworthy and reliable who does bigger things.

Maybe I shouldn't worry, but I do. I understand and accept that people shouldn't be bullied into doing things. Just because something is not what I would like doesn't mean it is wrong for other people. "Mary" says that things are fine, but she is slowly deteriorating and it is sad to see it happen. Talking to carers they themselves have similar issues with their own parents who live a distance away.  I guess that all we can do is let "Mary" make her decisions and we support her as best we can. At least she has us and others who visit when able and phone regularly. What about those who literally have nobody and have financial issues? 

Political and economic issues will ebb and flow. Leaders come and go and the shock waves that they cause will fade. But there will always be an ageing population who deserve our love and support.