A spokesperson for the Prime Minister wished to go on record as positively confirming his previous denial that any sort of party took place last Christmas in No 10 Downing Street or its environs. What might have been, by the uninitiated, construed as a party, was in fact a gathering of staff who were working late and each happened to walk into the same room at the same time each holding a plate with their evening supper consisting of bread and cheese and holding a glass of liquid which was in fact water coloured red with fermented grape juice.
Face masks were worn at all by all present. These were supplied by the second cousin once removed of the landlord of the pub that was frequented by one Matt Hancock. They were woven from the same material as first described in a story written by the Danish author Hans Christian Anderson. The working late was dutifully recorded by the Track and Trace organisation that was set-up and run by Lady Dildo.
Any inference that such a gathering could be construed as a party is false and erroneous. For those wishing further elucidation of how a party can exist and non-exist at the same time please read: 'Erwin Schrödinger, Die gegenwärtige Situation in der Quantenmechanik'
The spokesperson went on to confirm that the Prime Minister considers this matter firmly closed until the next leak.
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